The Other Side Of Darkness
by Tressa
Summary: Heero's memories of his past catch up after the war.


Title: The Other Side of Darkness  
Author: Tressa  
Rating: PG-13  
Summery: Heero survives everything, but his past must surely cause problems for him. Heero  
submits himself to a sort of therapy for what he has gone through and we able to see what exactly  
is behind the Perfect Soldier.  
Authors comments: First off, excuse me if I get some minor details wrong here. I haven't read all  
of Episode Zero, so Heero's background might not match up exactly. I've read stories that has a  
happy ending for our Heero, but decided to take a different turn on this road. Hope you like it!  
  
  
  
Dana Phillips had seen some horrible things happen to some of her students over the years he had  
taught. But what she saw in her new student's eyes scared her. He was fine at frist, a little cold  
and a little distant, but otherwise completely normal. It wasn't until they began discussing the  
Eve Wars did she notice his eyes. They say eyes are the window to the soul. And his eyes were  
wide open, allowing her to see deep inside him. Deep inside to see he trouble, the pain the stress  
that he had endured. But it wasn't until she questioned him was she able to know for certain  
something was indeed wrong.  
  
"Heero? Do you believe that the casualties of these wars were necessary?"  
  
He blinked, glanced down at the text book, back up at her, then his eyes glazed over and what  
looked like a tear welled up in the corner of his eye before he blinked it away. Then, the sorrow  
disappeared and was replaced by nothing. "Casualties are necessary for something like peace," he  
answered, though it seemed forced and practiced. His wording was unusual as well. What  
normal high school student would use the specific word patterning? Attempting to smile, she  
continued on with her lesson, reminding herself that she needed to talk to him after class. She  
watched his reactions, especially when the discussed the Gundams, specifically Gundam Wing,  
Wing Zero, and Epyon. He was a war child, that much was obvious. Either that, or he was really  
sensitive to these war stories. Dana was leaning toward the former. But what type of war child?   
Were his parents or siblings somehow involved in the war? For some reason, this was bothering  
her. She finished her lesson as the bell rang.   
  
"Heero?" she called. "I'd like to talk to you for a minute."  
  
The boy paused and looked at the clock.  
  
"Don't worry," she said. "I'll write you a pass."  
  
He sat down..  
  
"Heero, I've been watching your reactions to today's lesson. I saw the tears when I asked you  
that question."  
  
"Everyone else had reactions as well."  
  
"Not like yours. Neutrality, maybe a hind of sadness. But yours . . . It was pain, torture, regret,  
guilt." She paused. "Haunting." She sat down in the chair next to him. "You all grew up during  
these wars. It isn't the past, not for us, not yet. But it is important. I've had students who have  
lost family and friends because of it. But not one has reacted like you do." She glanced at his  
face to see tears streaming down his face. He stood up and walked to the window and for the  
first time, Dana noticed a slight limp.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"I . . . it's been a while since I've cried. My body, my mind, they're starting to break down. After  
all this time." He hung his head and sobbed. "Dr. J, Odin Lowe." His fragmented speech was  
almost as though he was trying to get everything on shoulders off, but couldn't quite do it. Dana  
bit her lip.  
  
"Heero, if you need to," she stopped. "Who were Dr. J and Odin Lowe?"  
  
He wiped his eyes. "The men who raised me. Trained me. In some instances, made me.   
Whatever you prefer."  
  
"What do you mean, made you?"  
  
He turned around and leaned on the book case near the window. "I was with them for as long as  
I can remember. Odin Lowe raised me as the supposedly Perfect Soldier. Dr. J too, though I  
suspect he was more respectful toward me as a human being. I can hack, pilot, assassinate . . . I  
can do just about anything. As far back as I can remember, I can recall the weapons, the training.   
All for peace. To create the Perfect Soldier. Lucky for me Dr. J wouldn't let them turn me into  
the absolute perfect soldier. I complete my missions, no matter what the cost. Life is cheap, can  
be cheap, especially my life. But I protect it, cause something good can come from life. Someone  
once told me to act on my emotions. What happens when you're force to bury your emotions?"  
  
"It appears as though you haven't completely buried them, Heero."  
  
"Heero Yuy isn't even my real name. It's a code name. I don't know my real name. I don't  
know my parents name or identities."  
  
Dana didn't know what to say to this. It was a shock, needless to say, that this type of   
"living" was going on. "You don't know your parents," she said in disbelief.  
  
"I can't even begin to explain everything that I've done, what I've gone through." Turning  
around, he slammed his fist down on the desk. There was a crack, and part of the desk fell to the  
floor. "I just want to live my life," he whispered. She didn't move. Maybe she was scared? He  
had just broken a desk.   
  
They sat and talked and Dana was able to get to know the boy who only had a code name. As he  
explained his past, she could feel her heart go out to him. No child should have to go through  
this. And now she could deduce why he cried. It wasn't because he lost family. It was because  
he had killed those in the war. Left other people family-less. Not all of them. But he did play  
major roll.  
  
"Thanks for letting me talk, Ms. Phillips," he said.  
  
She swallowed hard. "Heero, you might want to consider going to a therapist to deal with this.   
You shouldn't have to bear this alone."  
  
He got a contemplative look on his face. She hoped he was seriously considering it. Before he  
could answer, though , the classroom door opened and another boy popped his head in. "Excuse  
me, ma'am, but is . . . oh, hey Heero." In walked a boy wearing black and an unusually long  
braid.  
  
"Duo." Heero's response sent a chill up her spine. His tone had changed. She turned to look at  
him. His Prussian blue eyes had gone from hurt to ice. The braided boy smiled and waved at him.  
  
"Long time no see, Heero. You're one hard guy to track down."  
  
"What do you want," Heero asked simply.  
  
Dana watched the other boy, Duo, place one hand behind his head and laugh. "I think you know.   
When do we ever see each other?"  
  
"They need us." Another short and simple statement. He had just been speaking in long, emotion  
filled and detailed sentences.  
  
"Man." Duo shook his head. "You still don't talk."  
  
"No, you just talk too much."  
  
Dana didn't know what to do. Heero had just turned into a completely different person when he  
saw Duo. Maybe this boy had something to do with his past.  
  
"Since you're all so smart," Duo said sarcastically, "Can you tell me why they want us?"  
  
Dana watched as he walked to his bag, his limp covered up again. Reaching inside, he pulled out  
a manilla folder stuffed with papers. "I've been keeping tabs. Besides, it's all over the news."  
  
"Well then, you know what we have to do."  
  
"Roger that." Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Heero walked out of classroom without another  
word. Dana got up to follow, but was stopped by Duo.  
  
"Sorry miss."  
  
"I don't want him to get hurt!" she pleaded. She was afraid for him. He had gone through so  
much, he needed a life. It was hurting him! She wouldn't let anything happen to that poor boy.   
She tried to push past Duo, but the younger boy was just to strong for her. "Please," she  
whispered. "Please don't let him do this."  
  
Duo's smile disappeared and Dana could see something in his eyes, so similar to Heero's, yet  
different. "Lady, I don't know how you know what's going on. But he has to do this. We have  
to do this."  
  
"You can't."  
  
He shrugged. "If we get hurt, but win, then the rest of the space and earth doesn't need to get  
hurt. We don't like doing this. But, it has to be done." He smiled again. "Well, I've gotta go. I  
have a date with Death and she doesn't like waiting." With a turn on his heal and a small wave,  
he walked down the hall, whistling a tune. Dana watched him go, then fell to her knees. He  
couldn't escape what he considered his destiny. Which was sad. She suspected the 'we' Duo  
spoke of were other boys their ages. So sad. No bothering to wipe her tears, she sat on the floor.   
And prayed.   
  
Several Days later:  
  
Dana Phillips sat in her living room watching the news. The Gundams had once again prevented  
an attack from both earth and her colonies. But reports that came in also hinted that the pilots  
had been seriously injured and now were in the hospital. On reporter pushed a microphone into  
his interviewees face.  
  
"Major Sally Po, what have you heard about the pilots?"  
  
The young woman on the screen looked a lot older then she probably was. "I've got no  
comments. But I will say this. They've all requested that I say this, "We will not die." Thank  
you." And with that, she left.   
  
Dana smiled behind blurred vision. "You survive, Heero. And someday, you'll be able to break  
free of the things that way heavy on your shoulders." 


End file.
